OMG, I’ve never ever had the flu! EVER! In all my 61 years, I have had enough typical childhood ailments, chickenpox, tonsils, even shingles as a child and adult and plenty of snotty, coughing lousy colds, but never the flu until Thursday. But let me back up — My daughter called Wednesday and asked if I could bring her Gatorade as she has never been so sick. I actually thought she was being over dramatic till I hoofed it over to find her a horrible mess, she was clearly very ill! She couldn’t even keep small amounts of water or Gatorade down, she ran back and forth to bathroom, chilled, tired, body not cooperating in any way. I stayed for a few hours, worried if this continued that tomorrow she might have to go to the hospital for dehydration.
Her wonderful fiance’ came and took over for night duty. The next day I woke and my stomach was rumbling, it felt weird. I had been out to lunch Wednesday with my friend Leslie at Chili’s where I ate chicken enchilada soup and that’s all I could think about, my mind stalled in a visual of that bowl of soup set before me,   starring back, laughing and laughing, “all you can eat, all you can eat, ($7.06, used to be $6.99″) — I could even taste it  as I lay there thinking about it getting more and more nauseated, well, you can see what that’s leading, I was sick like Andrea! I have to mention I have not puked since I was 16 and drank a ‘Tom Collins” and had dry heaves! This was a shocker to my body and I must say, I can’t go near a Chilis for a long long time!  When my daughter called and said she felt a little better and was able to drink small amounts of water, I was so relieved and then told her what was happening to me and she felt horrible. I looked at her yesterday and thought maybe she had food poisoning, but guess not because I caught it! For two days I remained tethered to a ten foot, well worn path between bathroom and bed! My bed, my respite for baking in high, copious amounts of  electricity with two blankets over that! Thank goodness for indoor plumbing!  How did the pilgrims survive those winters and illness! (chamber pots)  I would have stayed in Europe, the boat ride over sounds like it would have been a horrible experience anyway. Heck, I still  need to get to Key West!
I was dressed in coveted layers, short and long sleeved shirts, flannel pj bottoms, a sweater, thick socks. I was soooo cold.  At least my son was home and checking on me bringing me tea. I could not eat for 2 days! I felt so bad for anyone sick and all alone — it was depressing, I’m usually up and moving, have great energy late late at night and early morning, so hanging around in bed was a terrible fate! It made me scared for the day I might have to go to a hospital and be tethered to tubes and confined like some captured, frightened wild bird!  I realized I was not brave like so many! I mention Lindy, my ex- sister in laws, Diane, and Kristi and others I know who have gone through battling cancer or some other bad disease. Even Leslie had a year of Hell after a horrible car accident that took a huge toll on her back! They are survivors! They are brave, inspiring! They face it like an adult, bravely looking forward, with conviction they pick themselves up despite chemo and trials  so tough on their bodies. They find the words hope and healing their clinging glory, the means to an end.  I have so much respect for their ability to embrace their longing for life and to hold on for as long as possible, I find I don’t think I would be a survivor like any of them, I’m not brave. I would probably think, well, it’s been good, but don’t know if  I could do what they did even with the thought of grandchildren! I fear that hospital and pain and thought of months in effort to get a new lease on life would wear me down. I really don’t think I would be stoic like the great friends that surround me, how their respect for life is so fully developed that they  would do no less then survive despite hardships, but I don’t think I have what it takes,  anxiety would consume me. Of course I say that without having something that would require me to have to treat it, but being in bed for two days was so depressing, I don’t know if my psyche could take something that was serious life threatening — I’ll admit, I am a coward! It really makes me wonder if I could endure a long illness let alone a terminal one. Feel free to reply to this your feelings. At least for those two days I could go to my desk and look out the window at the birds and lake and blue sky that will continue for mileniums after I go, I knew this was an illness with a limited time span. It made me think of legacy again, have you left enough of your imprint upon those around you? Immediately I think of my grandparents who were so loved and respected by all those that knew them. I can’t tell you how many people have told me through the years how they were their favorite people, how their love was something so special and inspiring, how generous they were to friend family and community. I remember my grandfathers Bus fund for the Jewish Center, raising funds for his Temple, The Rose Arenson Floral Fund for raising money for altar flowers on Friday nights and holidays is still there despite her being gone 30 years now. They championed many causes — me, I make donations here and there, but have no legacy like they had. I need someone to sit me down and find the adult in me.
The second downer lately has been life without my long telephoto point and shoot camera since X-mas. I am so hands on taking pictures, (see how impatient I am!) The Canon I bought last February has already been reduced to a noise maker, could tell the motor would burn out at any time and I have a new grandchild coming in February and need my point and shoot camera!  I had taken out a 3 year warranty at Best Buy, but this wasn’t even a full year under the manufacturers warranty. So after hearing nothing at all I called and they told me to pick out a new camera. I went yesterday despite the wobbly legs and still no food. I stood in a fog and listened to how my warranty was being used for the camera and in essence I forfeited the extra years which made no sense at all. And since then I have contacted manager and district manager for a “chat” on such bullcrap. Anyway, I am supposed to have new camera on Thursday which will be greatly received! The one guy helping me last night advised me to only get 2 year warranties and they will send a form at the end of the 2nd year to extend if needed. I am hard on my cameras, if they last two years without needing something it would be a miracle. My other warranties have saved me hundreds on having to replace other camera parts and cameras, this time I feel I got the shaft, so will let you know what happens!
Now for some pics since you deserve for reading this since it’s basically bitching and moaning about the trials and tribulations and anxieties known as Abbesworld, when so many have real difficulty, health, financial, family to deal with, it does make me realize how lucky I am to have such a great, loving family and wonderful friends and art. Be thankful for all your blessings! I am so thankful to look out my window and feel so much better!
OH, P/S I don’t think my heron has any eggs in her nest. She stands all alone over the nest, but does not seem to sit in it at all. Will let you know if anything hatches…

Life can be a challenge, chase after what makes it yours!

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